I am hoping a spiritual renewal will rid me of the baggage that prevents me from updating this, my beloved community.
It would make ironic sense that NOW I feel like writing, NOW while I'm in some sleep-derprived delirium. This seems to indicate that only DELIRIUM renders me capable of those "tasks" I used to love(read: accept as an integral part of my very worth as a person or even a specimen of the human species).
I can't sleep because I am packing for Medjugorje. I cannot, despite traveller's awareness tips and my Mother's always-expert advice, EVEN FATHOM being a world away in a warn-torn Bosnian village, finding hostel with a VISIONARY(Vicka Ivankovic-Mijatovic ).
I leave Saturday morning. My provisions are no where NEAR in order and I am completely vain - concerned about my hair-dryer and which outlets it requires.
This is not my first realization of my current (progressive) spiritual bankruptcy - I HATE anything involving introspection because I hate where my mind goes - I KNOW I am not a good person these days and, as with all possible trials or conflicts, I can't bear to address it.
I really wish you'd read this. I swear to you, it isn't boring, and you'll understand why a religious skeptic like me is so absolutely ENTRANCED by this place and its story.